2026-02-14_changing tendencies

these next few weeks/months look relatively bleak from a social(izing) point of view. N— will be gone, S— is in Morocco, b—- is gone, gl—— will be less… so yeah, that’s around 80% of m(y) social circle in bayreuth gone.

this has happened before, october 2024.

that time was the trigger for the adjustment disorder/depressive episode that landed m(e) in the clinic just now. i hope that won’t happen again, and i’m a bit more confident because i’ve been through it once before now, but i still can’t say for sure. like i said, the prospects look bleak from where & when i stand. the question that is important now is: how do i find relative fulfillment of m(y) social needs without falling into the pattern of high pace chasing that got m(e) here?.

this is a very difficult question. also because from one point of view i’ve been doing very little other than chasing for the last 14 months. but totalizing the last 14 months by viewing them only through this point of view won’t help. there is no denying that chasing was the hegemonic tendency in that time period. but within every (hegemonic) tendency there are ambiguities: patterns, actions, beliefs, habits that can be bent in a different direction in the present & future. the previous hegemonic tendency already did it once (in reality it did it many different, compounding times over a long time period), it can be done again.

the first necessary element is faith. faith in the fact that not repeating the same patterns is possible & will be the result of putting in effort into the act of trying.

the second necessary element is knowledge. knowledge not only of what the past/current patterns are, but as just indicated, knowledge of what the ambiguities in the past/current tendency are. and how to draw them out & into a new tendency. already here there is overlap between the necessary elements, since faith is an example of an ambiguity that can be bent in different directions.

the third necessary element is practice/execution. the boia between & at the end of the de’ s. without this element, the previous two will remain hollow. and the small shift in the current tendency they effect will lack substance & weight, leading to their eventual re-appropriation & subsumption into the current tendency.

in the vast majority of cases the relationships between the three elements are only linear in the schematic realm. in actuality they much more closely resemble a whirlpool than a waterfall. knowledge arises during practice led by faith & vice-versa in every direction.